On softening…
We are taught to varying degrees, that softening is a passive process. That to soften is to opt out, stop caring or even disconnect. That softness is a weakening, and resignation.
Bullshit.
Softening is an extremely active process.
When we make the decision to soften or stay soft we are choosing to consciously engage with it all. We are choosing to stay with discomfort and not knowing. We are choosing to agree to it, even if not with it. We are meeting resistance, complexity and vulnerability and holding it all. That takes participation, patience, courage and stamina. There is absolutely nothing passive about that.
And what’s more, softening builds our capacity to hold more of life in every dimension. Every time we let something else in, we have no option but to grow to make space for it.
The capacity to soften is a critical muscle that every person and every leader must develop - now and in the future. Don’t let anyone tell you anything different.